Having a few days off in the sun and making tremendously hard decisions like what should we eat and where is my towel...has led my mind to wander to the big questions.
What do I want in this life?
The answers are simple and dont feel idealistic in this holiday mode I'm in.
1. I want to live in interesting places and meet interesting people
2. I want to give all that I have (especially my time) to Claudia and Haydn
3. I want to be healthy and happy.
My life though doesnt reflect the 3 most important goals...far from it. I have managed to be a junkie for a far too busy life as the balance for "settling down" in one place. I have dived right in to the world that is obligation - feeling like I have to do this and that rather than doing what I love using my happiness meter as my guide. How did it happen?
My list of 3 feels perfect, feels like it deserves a plan of action. Achieving these goals is going to mean making some new choices and undoing some old decisions. It feels exciting, like we are on the tip of a precipice about to be pushed out to fly. The thought alone is thrilling.
As I noodle through my action plan I am sure many uncomfortable confrontations will arise including facing old decisions as failures. I'm ready for that but I am sure it will still be a challenge.
So to 2010 - I really really cant wait!
Happy New Year